I just came on an Eileen Myles anthology

November 18, 2017

it was a library copy

i hope you will believe me

when i say it was an accident

that it taught me a great deal


like listen

i know my bed sheets

haven't been washed

in a little over 3 weeks

but these two polyester blankets

fit right in with their history

of colors which i will not

recount now


temporarily and in sudden bursts

i drink juice at 3am because the glucose

soothes me it sweetens my escape

my funky death in the darkness

nihilistic and praying

to the mold under the carpet

and between family members

to the hazel rings i find bathing

in your eyes


the silence is a knee slap-

per in fact my ears are ringing

in fact i feel mister Grim Reaper

drinking tea in the neighbor's apartment

i told him (her? them?) last week like i tell

you now

"clean up your mess"

but he (she? they?)

bit me like a dog

so i just kindly said goodnight


and the compassion swelled

like a sexual organ

like a massive question mark

and flooded into the sweat

underneath my sweatpants

and into my high school

memories of everything i will again

not recount


on our elaborate battlefield

in a wonderland of dirty

Subarus and wait I

don't think I really

explained myself

i came for you

and landed on a book of poems

i guess time will tell if they're mine


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