reasons i decided to get a Jswipe account

June 17, 2019

because i’m lonely.

because my best friend got one and it seemed to work for her.

because there are only so many Jewish men in the world

and depending on where you live they aren’t always easy to spot,

and at some point i just realized i didn’t want any of the ones i’ve already caught sightings of.

because meeting organically when you have social anxiety is like

a goldfish deciding it wants to date when it lives in a fish bowl by itself.

because i’ve dated guys who weren’t Jewish before and this time i want something more...

exotic... or was it familiar?

because i’m tired of feeling ashamed of myself,

or having to reassure people that just because i’m Jewish

doesn’t mean i’m THAT Jewish,

in fact technically i’m only half Jewish, so LOOK that’s even less for them to worry about!


because i’ve tried other dating apps before and all they ever got me was a boy

who only wanted to meet me inside my dorm room.

told me he’d bring wine, and I could kick him out if i got uncomfortable,

but i wasn’t worth the drive if we had to meet in public.

so i told the boy he wasn’t worth the time to meet at all.

besides what does my dorm room have that a restaurant doesn’t?

except for a bed and no one to interrupt him when I say no.


maybe i thought that if i chose Jswipe this time, that looking for a Jewish person to date

is pretty specific. maybe there’d be more standards,

maybe the people would be more serious, maybe the first message to me wouldn’t be:

come over here and sit on my face.

and he’s into those NJGs right? Those Nice Jewish Girls that come running when he calls.

oh, is that what NJGs are supposed to do?


my pregnant boss asks me about my dating life one day at work.

i tell her it’s not that interesting.

she tells me she misses it. dating.

i tell her, “no. you don’t.”

tell her about the guy who got mad that i didn’t NJG and jump the moment he appeared


and who would want you anyway? You call those things on your face eyebrows? if you ask me they look

more like two caterpillars cocooning.


well no one asked you and this is clearly going nowhere so why don’t we just drop it.


i don’t know... we could still meet up... you’re the realest person i’ve ever met on here.


i told her i never responded to him again.

took a screenshot of the messages and deleted him from my life.

that i saved the messages for weeks because i thought they were funny

showed them to all of my friends and laughed.

and my guy friend said to me, “i’m glad you have an easy sense of humor.

i feel like anyone else would have cried over that.”

and i responded, “why?this is normal.”

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